The Psychology of Everyday Life

Issue 002

Why Do Some People Hate Phone Calls?

Ever let your phone ring out… then replied with a text five seconds later?

The Situation

Your phone starts ringing.

You look at the screen.

You know exactly who’s calling.

You could answer.

Instead…

You watch it ring.

A few moments later you send a message:

“Sorry, I couldn’t answer. What’s up?”

For some people, a phone call feels completely natural.

For others, it can feel surprisingly uncomfortable.

If you’ve ever preferred a text over a call, you’re certainly not alone.

The Psychology

Many people assume disliking phone calls means someone is shy or lacks confidence.

But that’s only one possible explanation.

Phone calls ask us to respond instantly.

There’s no pause.

No opportunity to think.

No chance to rewrite what we want to say.

For many people, texting feels easier because it gives the brain something phone calls don’t…

Time.

Time to think.

Time to process.

Time to choose the right words.

Sometimes it’s not the conversation that’s difficult.

It’s the unpredictability.

Not knowing why someone is calling.

Not knowing what they’ll say first.

Not having a moment to prepare.

A Different Perspective

What if avoiding phone calls isn’t about avoiding people?

What if it’s about preferring a different way of communicating?

Some people think best while talking.

Others think best before talking.

Neither is right.

Neither is wrong.

We all process conversations differently.

Understanding that can help us become more patient with ourselves—and with the people around us.

Something to Think About

The next time your phone rings, ask yourself:

“Am I avoiding the conversation… or am I simply wishing I had a little more time to think?”

Sometimes the way we communicate says less about our confidence…

…and more about how our minds process the world around us.

Understanding ourselves is the first step towards changing ourselves.

Continue the Conversation

Are you someone who prefers a phone call… or would you choose a text message every time?